April 6, 2012 - More big changes. I went into heart failure Friday afternoon (by ambulance), March 23. They did a procedure called an ablation where they burn the nerves that squeeze the heart. Now my rythm is controlled by my pacemaker/defiliator. My heart contractions are now controlled by a drug called Dobutamine. I have to get an IV of Dobutamine once a week for four hours. I now use a walker to get around. They will be ordering me a wheelchair for longer excursions.

This made me think about things. 1.) I'm tired of being sick and in the hospital. 2.) I have a DNR 02 in place (n0 cpr, n0 entubation, no artifical feeding. 3.) I've got pallative care in place when the drug no longer works. Followed by hospice if I make it that far. 4.) My funeral and burial are pre-planned and had been for several years. 5.) I still need to make a will.

Two doctors have told me that I am on the last leg of my journey. Each time I get out of the hospital I migrate from one stage to another: legs, cane, walker, wheelchair, and casket?

I have two goals in place right now. 1.) Make it to my 70th birthday, April 29. 2.) Make it to my brother's birthday October 29 (6 months).

Services are still in the processing of being put into place. I will have a home nurse, a physical therapist, occupational therapist, and a home care aid. I have IV appointments in place for every Thursday from now to May 17. Then we will see how things are going. As always they
took me off some of my meds and added a new one or two.

I am at peace with this.